Buy The Team, ____!

After the SELL THE TEAM DAN fun we had at the recent Skins-Buccs game, we began playing a new game…”Buy the team, ___”. For one-liners only. Here’s what we’ve come up with so far.  Feel free to submit your own one-liners to submit@selltheteamdan.com!

BUY THE TEAM,

• Andy Dick, because at least a gay cokehead is entertaining.
• Kanye West, because “Now, Imma let you finish here…but I just want to say that Dan Snyder is the worst team owner of all time.”
• Ted Turner, because for FedEx prices, my burger should be buffalo meat at least. Kangaroo? Unicorn? Something way fancier…
• Guy I met at the bar last night, because then I might actually call you.
• R. Kelly, because we hear you have an eye for young talent. No? How about Roman Polanski?  Too soon?
• Tom Cruise, so your bizarre alien gods can come down here and show us all how to run a football team properly.
• Adam Archuleta’s Mother, because even you knew we were paying too much for Adam Archuleta.
• First person I randomly select from the phonebook, because…how bad could it be? I mean, honestly…
• Lady Gaga, because your penis has to be bigger than Dan Snyder’s.
• Marion Barry, because at least you’re a literal crackhead and not a figurative one.
• Tim Tebow, because you’d do a better job with your concussion.
• Steve Spurrier, because at least you know how to give up and let someone who knows what he’s doing make the decisions.

Enjoy the laughs and submit your own to submit@selltheteamdan.com

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